its like that grab bag at the dollar store,..you aren't sure what the point is but there is all kinds of stuff in there...

yesterday someone told me that her hair started growing curlier after her second child and my response was "maybe i should have another kid"...like i had already had one....which was weird because i haven't physically had one...it was so striking to realize that even on a body level i feel like a woman who has had a child and lost her...the importance of the time i spent with her and the connection and memories i have with her actually override my knowledge of my body and experiences...im like a walking dance movement therapy thesis...and i miss her.

i have secured a clinical counseling internship for the fall semester at an alternative high school program in keene. i am really excited about it, i feel like i am going to learn a lot and enjoy it too...for those of you who have been awaare of the process...the way it has come about has also reminded me that my way of doing things can be different from someone else's without either of us being wrong...what would be wrong would be for either of us to try to change our way simply because of the difference....i don't do things the way a lot of people do, especially other graduate school students...this shouldn't have been a surprise :) but instead of seeing the value in my way and allowing it to serve me in a new set of circumstances i wasted some time trying to assume a whole new way and being frustrated that it wasn't working. this internship process really brought me out of that sillyness and back into doing life the way i do it best...that is feeling pretty darn great...

i have found my inner beyonce...and i have to admit we get along better than i thought we would.

i have booked a place ticket to be in haiti for the month of june...well most of it...and i discovered i am much better at being present in this world when i have a ticket to that world in my back pocket (read email inbox - we all know no one gets tickets anymore and that there is a good chance i am not wearing any pants)waiting for me. interesting.

i told someone about my work in haiti. he offered me his ak47 as the best solution. i didn't kill him. i didn't mame him. i didn't even raise my voice. in fact, i didn't engage him at all. i think i have reached some new plane of consciousness. take that mama T.
(that last part is for nancy who will unfortunately probably not read this - no actual disrespect was paid to mother teresa during the writing of this blog.)

i start the great migration on monday....i am super excited to get back to ga...new england is a great experience but the south is home...

this whole grad school thing was supposed to be a journey of self discovery...and the first thing i discovered is that while it is super hard...a sure fire way to find your truest self is to get good and lost first...and i succeeded brilliantly...i think i am turning a corner in that maze and i like where i am headed. for everyone who has walked along me at some point, or who i might meet on the miles ahead...thank you and bless you for wisdom, grace, truth, honor, and love...i have received much and i am always open to more...may i repay every kindness in how i live every moment i am given.